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How to Become the Parent I Want to Be in 2019?

The new year is here! The time of year when many of us pause and ask ourselves “how can I improve this year?” Call the answer to this question whatever you like; resolutions, goals, plans or sometimes better named pipe dreams. As I tell my kids, “there is nothing you can’t achieve with hard work and persistence”. We should follow our own advice. It is possible to succeed with our resolutions so let the planning begin…

My resolutions tend to revolve around becoming a better version of myself for my family. This could mean a lot of different things (more organized, less yelling, working out more, less over-scheduling) but the end goal is the same – to create a more loving, peaceful home.

This year my resolution is to become a more positive, present parent. What does this mean?

Positives & Negatives: It isn’t realistic to think I won’t give my kids any negative feedback (“don’t push,” “stop standing on the table,” “no you can’t have another dessert”). My goal in 2018 is that everyday I give my kids more positive feedback than negative. Build them up more. Find and recognize all the good they do.

Kudo Banz helps to keep giving the kids positive feedback top of mind and the kids love receiving their tangible “kudos” for their wristband. You can see the pride on their faces when they earn a Kudo!

Stay Calm: I feel so guilty when I lose my cool and yell at my kids. I know it isn’t effective. I resolve to remain calm under pressure this year. I will take the moment to breath, count to 10 or even walk away in order to collect myself before responding. I don’t need to join in the emotional chaos of my kids.

I should earn a Kudo each time I stay calm! I need an adult Kudo Banz 😉 That isn’t available (yet) but the good news is I use Kudo Banz to encourage my kids to “use their words and stay calm”, which in the end helps me stay calm too.

Be Present: This is the hardest one for me. I thrive on checking off items on my to-do list. Always running around at home.. cleaning, cooking, checking my phone, organizing school papers, etc. Sadly, I can go days with really never being “present” with my kids. This year I resolve to set aside time each day to simply be present, to give my kids my full attention. It doesn’t have to be hours but at minimum of 30 minutes a day. I will put my phone away. I will ask my kids questions, listen and play! There is no greater gift we can give our children than the gift of our time.

Kudo Banz helps me be present as the reward wheel items are often time-based like “family freeze dance”, “play board game”, “read extra book before bed”. This gives me a reason to pause my “business” and play for a bit. Thank you, Kudo Banz.

If we all take small steps to be a better version of our parenting selves, this world will be a better, happier place. It all starts and ends with family so here’s to all of us being the parent we want to be in 2018. Remember Kudo Banz and the Kudo Banz community are here to support us.

Happy New Year!

 

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