Real Parenting: The Honest Perspective

Too Old for Kudo Banz? – How it Made the Biggest Impact on our 10 Year old.

Kudo Banz shifted the focus back to the positive and Daniel quickly caught on that positive behavior resulted in more positive attention. This not only helped him break his “negative habit” but our negative parenting habits as well.

I am a mom to 3 kids; aged 6, 8 and 10. When I got Kudo Banz I was thinking it was primarily for my 6 and 8 year old but I didn’t want my oldest child to be left out so I gave him one too. To my surprise, Kudo Banz has made the greatest impact on him – our 10 year old!

Transitioning from being a young kid to being a tween
For the past year or so, my 10 year old son, Daniel, has been challenging. He is transitioning from being a young kid to being a tween and that has come with an exhausting amount of “freshness”. Testing boundaries is normal at this age but disrespect and back-talk to his parents is not acceptable. Our normally close, sweet relationship with him was being compromised and my husband and I were at a loss as to how to get through to him. Yelling and time-outs were not working and honestly just making us feel bad about our “parenting methods”.

Enter Kudo Banz.
The change was transformative. I got my first clue that Kudo Banz may work well for Daniel was when we set-up everyone’s customized reward wheel on the app. All the kids liked it, but Daniel seemed especially interested and thoughtful about his wheel. He was impressed that he could choose his own rewards and customize it with his own images and voice. The amount of involvement he had in creating his wheel made him proud and excited to earn his Kudos.

Daniel and I agreed that his Kudo goal was to use kind words (especially to his parents and siblings). We discussed how sometimes we say things without thinking about their impact on others. So his focus was to “think before you speak” and “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.” Sounds simple enough but I explained that when you get into a bad habit, it takes effort to turn things around. And that, I think, is the value of Kudo Banz. It helps kids develop good habits over time.

Kudos keep kids motivated.
Daniel was instantly motivated to earn his Kudos. I noticed him looking at and playing with his wristband a lot so I knew it was on his mind. Day one of Kudo Banz and all of a sudden we had this kind, positive, helpful and happy kid. I chalked it up to being the first day. The novelty would wear off. Day two and Daniel was the same kind kid I saw the day before. Day three and Daniel was even reminding the little ones to behave nicely for Kudo Banz. The weeks went by and there was still this noticeably kinder, happier kid. The whole house was more peaceful, and parenting had suddenly got a whole lot easier. Was this due to Kudo Banz?

My husband and I agree, without a doubt, it was the Kudo Banz. And Daniel agrees too. A week into it, my husband said to him. “You’ve been behaving very well the past week. Why do you think that is?” He responded excitedly, “I know! I guess it’s because of the Kudo Banz.” Over time, I noticed it wasn’t the charms or the reward wheel that was driving the change anymore. Yes, he liked receiving “stay up later”, “family movie” or “extra dessert” but what he liked more was that Mom and Dad were giving him more attention for the good things he was doing. He thrived on this positive reinforcement.

Yes, like all of us, Daniel still has his “moments,” but Kudo Banz has really changed the way we react to his behavior. There hasn’t been any yelling since he got his Kudo Banz. Instead, we remind him of his Kudo Banz and the good habits he’s working on. Kudo Banz helped us realize how little positive attention he was receiving as we were so focused on correcting his negative behavior. Kudo Banz shifted the focus back to the positive and Daniel quickly caught on that positive behavior resulted in more positive attention. This not only helped him break his “negative habit” but our negative parenting habits as well (which in retrospect were probably reinforcing his negative behavior). The result was a happier kid, happier parents and happier family.

No matter your age, we all need positive reinforcement.
It is how relationships flourish at all stages of life. Think about your relationship with your spouse, boss and friends. Without giving and receiving positive feedback frequently, any relationship would suffer. We all need to be reminded that we are doing a good job and we all react better to positive direction. Kudo Banz gave us an easy and fun way to help us do that for our kids and it has made a huge difference for our family.

 

 

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